Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Tony and Doug let loose on those who are disappointed in "Emergent Village"





Personally the this all sounds like the old "I am not getting fed" statement I hear at some churches... to that I would reply, "Are you still a baby that needs to still be fed? Have you thought that maybe it is your turn to feed someone else?" Now I agree, maybe the failure is not the "so-called" leaders, but those who are out there sitting on their butts not doing anything!

OK, the other side of the coin is this. If emerging is a movement, then it WILL pass... if it is not just a movement, then it will continue and even grow into something else... but still leaving the seeds to continue. My personal view is that emerging itself (which is different from Emergent) is the ongoing conversation that God started in Genesis with... "Let there be..." so it will not fade, it was always there in some fashion (whether called emerging or not) and will always be as long as Jesus is.

To a point I agree with Doug and Tony... yet in a way I think they are missing the boat. How? Some think that that Doug jumped ship and is off doing his radio show and thinking of politics (to some that may be boring Doug... sorry) and some think maybe that Tony has sort of gone off the reservation... (Sorry Tony, I still want to discuss some of your views with you.) Maybe that is a little harsh, but if I feel that way I imagine others do also.

Really I don't suppose I will hear from either of these guys... (which may be part of the issue again) Do they have the right to feel as they do... of course, but all I ask is that they also try to step back and look at it from an outsider perspective... to take a look that others feelings may be a little hurt also.

Now, to me I saw Emergent Village as a great resource for ideas. I loved the podcasts and thought they gave some thought provoking insights... I think the issue is that instead of sticking with the strong points of being what they were good at they tried to become a community... sorry we already have communities going yet, to lose Emergent Village as a resource does sting a bit. The Podcast is still going yet, if Emergent Village would look to being a resource and think of ways to help the communities that are going, then they may find their strong point again.

The bummer thing is that no one wants to publish "emerging" books as they stated as they did not sell well... so... how about starting a emerging publishing company? I mean Brian Mclaren alone could probably get it going... and make it a ground roots type thing where people can get books published and sell them as part of the resource help. (Hmmm dang good idea to me!)

My greatest advice is that Tony and Doug try not to get defensive and go on the offensive... you are leaders of sorts... whether you want to be or not... and whether people want you to be or not... but if you have your finger on the pulse as some of us think you once really did... then help us make things happen.

I hope I am not coming across to cranky... I am not meaning to say I am not thankful for all Doug and Tony have done. I just pray that they can focus or refocus on helping others grow.


Tony's response to the "Death of Emergent" voices.

Tony has a post that gives others views of what is happening to Emergent Village













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40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes

Blank

Quote
Braveheart:
William Wallace: “Will you fight?!” Man: “No, we will run. And we will live.”
Muppets from Space
Shame on you.
Animal House:
This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're going to let it be the worst.
Rudy
And I guarantee a week won't go by in your life you won't regret walking out, letting them get the best of you.
Street Fighter:
Well, I'm not going home.
Old School:
We've come too far!
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington:
And I'm going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King:
A day may come when the courage of men fails... but it is not THIS day.
Star Trek: First Contact:
The line must be drawn HERE. This far, no further!
Bring It On:
I'm not saying it's going to be easy.
Stand and Deliver:
You're going to work harder than you ever worked before.
Newsies
But that's fine, we'll just get tougher with it!
Charlie Brown
“If a person grits his teeth and shows real determination”
Apollo 13
“Failure is not an option.”
Rocky Balboa
“That's how winning is done!”
The Matrix Reloaded
“Believe me when I say…”
Kingdom of Heaven:
“We can break this army here”
Knute Rockne: All American
And win just one for the Gipper.
Alexander:
But I say to you what every warrior has known since the beginning of time:
Network:
You've got to get mad.
The Outlaw Josey Wales
I mean plum mad dog mean.
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
If you would be free men, then you must…
The Great Dictator
…fight to fulfill that promise! Let us…
Patton:
…cut out their living guts…
Any Given Sunday:
One inch at a time…
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End:
And they will know what we can do!
300:
“Woo!”
Troy:
Let no man forget how menacing we are. We are lions!
Swingers
You're like a big bear, man!
Miracle
This is YOUR time!
Dead Poets' Society
Seize the day…
Galaxy Quest
Never surrender…
victory or death...
The Untouchables:
that's the Chicago Way!
Army of Darkness
Who's with me?
Peter Pan
Clap! Clap! Don't let Tink die! Clap!
Hoosiers
Alright!
Mighty Ducks
Let's fly!
Henry IV
And gentlemen in England now abed…
Pulp Fiction
shall know my name is the Lord when I
Braveheart:
tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take…
Independence Day:
…our Independence Day!





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Where angels and serpent dance ~ P.O.D.





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Sinners in the hands of a Gracious God






Glenn R. Keider at Dallas Seminary 01-01 2003 Does a sermon on the Jonathan Edwards sermon "Sinners in the hands of an angry God". You can download it for free on iTunes. The original Jonathan Edwards sermon can be downloaded for free here.

iMonk also has some interesting things to say
at his site.




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Monday, June 08, 2009

From Eternity to Here by Frank Viola


From Eternity to Here by Frank Viola

Once again I get the privilege to review a book. This book was originally published as God’s Ultimate Passion but has been revamped into a very readable book. I really enjoyed the original so it was interesting to see the updated version.

The book is actually three volumes in one broken up into different themes. The first is the Bride of Christ which is a wonderful walk through creation and the relationship of Adam and Eve. Frank Viola brings out nuances that I believe many miss as they simply read though the narrative. Frank Viola points out how the original bride Eve is the prototype of another Bride, the Church.

Frank then begins the second section where the Homeless God is on a quest to make a new home for Himself. The narrative takes one from Genesis through Revelation where he shows God’s intention was to have a New Home in those who believe in Him through Jesus.

The Third Section brings us to The Family, or Body what we are becoming as believers in Jesus. God seeks to make each person who comes to Him in faith through Jesus a New Creation of His passion and expression of His Glory.

If you are in a book store and have a few minutes, I suggest reading the last bit which I think is one of the most important parts of the book, Frank Viola’s micro-biography. It is a short read yet in it one will find Frank Viola’s walk through various movements of the church and what he gained through them… and what he found was lacking in them. To me this gives the read understanding where Frank is coming from and in a sense where one will go as they read the book. It is a bit funny that I am saying to read the end of the book to get the rest of the book, yet if one does take the time I will guarantee they will be buying the book to see how Frank puts all this together.

On a personal note, I enjoyed that Frank quoted both Brian McLaren and Major Ian Thomas which was fascinating to see the two fit together as I have seen they do. This book was to me a wonderful read. In a sense I feel that where I am on my own journey is where many are going and Frank Viola is going. To me the core of both Brian McLaren and Major Ian Thomas as well as Frank Viola’s book is Grace. To gain more insight into the great and wonderful grace of God to me will aid anyone who believes in Jesus.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to dig deeper into who you are in Christ Jesus. This is one author I will be reading more from.
I am having the privilege to be part of a circuit of Blogger who are reviewing From Eternity to Here. If you want to read what others are saying here is a list. Many may even have interview questions.

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Friday, June 05, 2009

Some reasons I do not believe in the Rapture



I opened a can of worms on Facebook so I thought I might add to the conversation why I do not believe in the Rapture. First here are a few resources to show I am not alone.

http://www.bible.org/page.php?page_id=2566



Note that the rapture (if true) and second coming are two separate events.

http://www.catholicbible101.com/therapture.htm



Note that in the article it raises the issue of “a coming” of Jesus verse “the coming” of Jesus. If the Rapture is true then there would be 3 times that Jesus returns. The bible teaches only a second coming and not three. Some teach that Jesus comes but does not touch down… and where is that in the bible… no where.

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Christianity-Christian-Living-1401/2009/5/Rapture-2.htm



This is a great reference which also brings out some interesting points such as the points on the “hinderer”. If the hinderer is the Holy Spirit then no one can be saved after the Rapture. If it is the church, then again, since the church is the Body of Christ, no one can be part of the Body of Christ as it is taken away… thus again… no one can be saved after the Rapture. This causes many issues as almost all “rapture” believers claim people will be saved if:

1. They do not take the mark of the beast and are beheaded. Yet, that would be works salvation and we are saved by Grace through faith and not works.
2. Those left that are sub Christians (like those who do not believe in the Rapture) are to become martyrs. Though they believe in Jesus, they must now prove their faith. Again, if this is true, then no one else can come to faith in Jesus as there is no Holy Spirit and no church.

Though some try to claim the early church fathers taught the Rapture, there is no real text that proves this. The claim that imminent return means rapture again is not proof as they taught the second coming. There is no reference to a return of Jesus that would be like the Rapture. All talk of the Resurrection of the dead…

On that note the bible teaches that the dead shall rise first. So either the bible is wrong as it teaches the dead will rise and be judged first or the Rapture people who claim that the living will also be raised is right. I think I will trust the bible. Also, the references the Rapture believers use are mostly about the Resurrection. At that time all people dead and alive will be clothed in the imperishable and incorruptible. The other references took place in 70ad with the judgment and destruction of the Temple. The one is taken and one is left actually shows that those take are taken to judgment and not to new life.

Matthew 24 is clear about this if you simply read it:

36. "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. 37. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.
38. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; 39. and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 40. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. 41. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left. 42. "Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.


Note that Jesus states that “as it was in the days of Noah so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man” then states that “the flood came and took them away”. These people were not saved but judged. Then Jesus states that two are standing and one is taken… where? To be judged… not saved. Reading it in context shows this is so… it takes a bit of twisting of the text to make it read that the one’s taken are saved… yet Jesus stated that just as those taken in the flood, (who all died) so will be those who are take at the Coming of the Son of Man. Note also as you read on this is supported:

43. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. 44. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.
45. "Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time? 46. It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns. 47. I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions. 48. But suppose that servant is wicked and says to himself, `My master is staying away a long time,' 49. and he then begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards. 50. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. 51. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Note that Jesus states that when He returns He will come to judge and those found with hypocrisy will be cut to pieces and assigned to the place of hypocrites. These people are taken away to be judges… not saved.

There are many other inconsistencies such as that the 144,000 will be evangelists… yet if you look at Rev 14 you will not find this taught… in fact the only evangelist in the passage is an angel and not the 144,000.

The narrative of the Bible does not teach rapture but resurrection. The narrative I see is that Jesus will return the second time and not return to heaven with believers but sit in Jerusalem and begin the final judgment.

Now I am a partial preterist as I believe much of the prophecy that is used for the rapture took place in 70ad. Yet I am only a partial preterist and see that the book of Revelation prophesizes of “things that are and that will come.” (Rev 1:19)











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Rob Bell talks about Domitian and the book of Revelation

This is a re-post from a couple of years back. The topic of the Book of Revelation keeps coming up so I thought I would re-post this. I think it very informative and gives a historical perspective of the Book of Revelation in a creative way.













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The Rapture is Bull!

And now a deep theological discussion on the Rapture...


And her follow up!



And even through her crisis of faith she holds on...





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Thursday, June 04, 2009

Three questions on evangelism




I was asked these questions today and thought I might share my answers here:

1) How do you model/do evangelism in your faith communities?

1) I model what Jesus did as far as evangelism. He did as the Father was already doing. So I keep my eyes open to what God may be doing in and with someone and just be their friend. Many people only see others as selling or wanting something from them, so developing the skill to love without agenda is crucial. Letting God work in the instead of pushing my own will for their salvation is core to this idea. Trusting that God wants them saved more than I ever would is hard to do at times. Yet, in the times God has allowed me to do this it has been very effective.

2) What ways of evangelism have you found to be least effective? Most?


2) The least effective is door to door and being pushy. Often people are inoculated with the gospel and think they already know all about it and often when pushed shutdown. Again, listening to them and hearing what God is doing with them is a skill to develop. As for me the most effective is #1

3) In what ways do you think/feel that evangelism methods should change for the future of the American church?

3) Often the focus is on me saving others. We may not say that out loud but in reality many times I have encountered "How many people have you saved today?" In the past I felt guilty for not doing enough, then one day I realized (maybe it was revealed to me?) that I could not save myself, so how could I ever save anyone else? It is God who saved me and God wants to save others also. This took the focus off of me "saving" and back on Jesus who can save people. If I am "me" focused then it is about "me" and not Jesus. Also, making the focus not on getting to Heaven but in becoming a New Creation has opened my eyes to being able to just be there and watch God do His work. I am not as concerned about Heaven or Hell as they will get to either place eventually... I focus on how they can have a new identity in Christ Jesus.

Each person is unique but the same. It really does take time to get to know that person and learn how to accept them and love them as Jesus would. I am not saying just be all "nice" as at times Grace is tougher than we think. I have told drunks they are drunks and other harsh sounding things yet, somehow Grace comes through. Often they have never heard directness with acceptance. They have only heard directness with condemnation.

The bottom line is everyone wants to be loved. The world's love is a sick and twisted thing that barely represents God's love. By being a conduit of God's love we can reach people His way and not create other ways that really in the end mean nothing and may work for a generation, yet will lose it's power over time... God's way will never lose it's power.






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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Green Day: We Love Jesus

I have always liked Green Day, yet with their last couple of CD's noticed a "change" in their music. They seemed to have gained a prophetic voice of sorts. There seemed to be more and more references to Jesus...



The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Green Day
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorGay Marriage


The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Green Day - Know Your Enemy
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorGay Marriage


Thanks to Dave Wainscott for pointing this out.




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Friday, May 22, 2009

Sell the blessed reminders on EBay




"We see it as a reminder of the blessings from God"..."My first thought was to sell it on EBay"... yep that sums it up. I do love their sense of humor about it though.


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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Praying the Bible: Lectio Divina






Though lectio divina is mostly practiced in the Roman Catholic tradition I see that there is great value in using it in daily readings. I have taken the liberty to write this in less a RCC view and more for every person.

Start out first with prayer: By inviting the Holy Spirit to come and teach us, we open ourselves to God and entrust all to Him and his guiding. This is not to be confused with emptying oneself as the “paganistic religions” teach, rather taking time to empty our “self” and allow God to speak to us. Any simple prayer will do.

Come Holy Ghost, fill the hearts and minds of the faithful you servant, and inflame them with the fire of Your divine love. Instruct my heart and renew my mind by Your Truth. Enter my innermost being and renew a right spirit in me.

Lectio: The next step is relaxing. By finding a place that does not allow distraction we can better concentrate on what God has for us. Some call this “quiet time” and is much the same thing. You may go as elaborate as using candles or incense or simply find a quite spot that will not have anything that might distract you from interacting with God.


There is not set “goal” in your reading. In fact a goal may interfere with what God is trying to accomplish and teach you. This sounds a bit counter productive, yet sometimes our agendas may interfere with God’s agenda for us. Simply find a passage you may feel lead to or if you do not “feel” lead, find a passage that interests you.


As you read prayerfully ask God to show you. Keep in mind the humility of the Ethiopian eunuch in Acts 8:30-31; who humbly was wrestling with the scripture and asked Phillip to explain it to him. We now have the Holy Spirit to teach us, so simply be open to what the Spirit may be saying.


Some may want to bring commentaries and other items to use as they read. Personally I see this as not needed but I am not opposed to their use. If you come to a verse or passage that you do not understand. Spend some time prayerfully asking God to reveal it to you. Do not be discouraged if you hear nothing from God. Feel free also move on and keep reading into material you already do understand, yet ask God if there may be something you are missing or that may add to your current understanding. You might be amazed that a verse you thought you had down comes alive a this point and you see it from a totally different view. Remember “lectio” is simply reading the text and attempting to understand what the writer is saying. Do not stress out if this seems hard at first, it does become easier over time.


Meditatio: I am amazed that some see this part as dangerous. I do agree, if you do this part God may dramatically change your life! Take time to read and re-read the passage you read. Visualize it and even read it out loud and “listen” to what God may be revealing to you. Consider the verse in perspective to the Church, family, your own person or even your enemies. Take time to consider the verses in terms of allegorical or metaphorical meanings and even historical views…. Even taking it literal is often great! The idea is letting the Holy Spirit draw you in deeper to understand what the writer was trying to say and convey.


Oratio: After a while pray again that God gives you the grace to be changed by the truth of what you read. Prayerfully ask this Truth to fully come into your very being and live it out in a practical sense.


Contemplatio: Give thanks that God will do as He promises and rest in that truth.


Collatio: If you know of others who are doing this, talk to them about what God has taught you. Also there is safety in talking to others to help guide us in understanding what we learned. Someone you know my already have learned or is learning what you were taught and you can encourage each other


Actio: Live what your have learned. Allow it to be your life and truth. It is God’s word and by it allow yourself to be lead.

Addo: Though I may be wrong I believe “Addo” means “to give” and that is the last step you should do. If lectio divina is something that helps you in your reading, pass it on or give it away to others.



For more info:
Since I sort of stole the name of this post from Tony Jones I will give him some credit.

Tony Jones has a great article out on praying the bible. He just did another post that gives a bit of more history to the steps I have written about.

I also found this site as an a great resource to start to understand lectio divina.



Enjoy!




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Thursday, May 14, 2009

It's a matter of identity






Often I see critics of the emerging conversation take quotes out of context and then building straw men arguments against them.

I admit there are some issues in the emerging conversation... yet that is true in all "movements" or denominations. I feel sometimes that the critics actually hurt people like me who can speak to those in my camp and show them were error may lie. (I also still do not see the conversation as a movement as it loses its prophetic power to speak to this generation)

One area is the area of homosexuality. I agree with Brian McLaren that we need to step back and look at human sexuality as a whole and respond to thinks like divorce, fornication as well as homosexuality. The issue I have is that some are too "accepting" of the lifestyle and not seeing that it is not about accepting lifestyles but about accepting people and teaching them a proper identity as a new creation.

Yet, instead, I see the backlash of the gay bashing crowd... the back lash being "gay is ok"... and that is not even a question to me biblically. Gay is no more ok than if I cheated on my wife... grace covers it, but is not a license to sin, but to do what is good. Is cheating on my wife good? No! So also any sin, gossip, slander, homosexuality or fornication and one and on... are all harmful to us and others and is not expressing the love of God.

Now that does not negate that if we sin... or that we may struggle with sin... that we do not have a Mediator... yet the challenge is not to accept our sin and live in it.... but to overcome it and leave it.

This is not some over night success process... and I think God teaches us through the struggles.

If I cheated on my wife and she gave me the grace of not leaving me, we would have to learn together how to trust and love each other once again... or even for the first time. That would be hard... and not something God would just heal overnight in most cases...

Sexuality needs to be addressed in light of our new identity as New Creations and being Children of God... once that is in place, we no longer cling to "I am gay" or " I am a drunk" or " I am a doctor" or “I am a fireman" or “I am a schizophrenic” and so on... We may struggle with these things... (Pride with a job even) but we no longer identify as that being us.

We who are now in Christ are New Creations. Though we still have this corrupted suit of flesh, God now has given us to power and all the tools to live by the Spirit. This means we should listen to the Holy Spirit as he leads us in all truth and have our minds renewed. By having our minds renewed we learn that sin, though forgivable, is not just wrong, but stupid. By learning to live a confessional life, we learn to agree with God when we do stupid things. He does not condemn us and will lift us up and help us to be the living sacrifices he has called us to.

Living or “abiding” in Christ, is about learning to understand what God wants us to know about being fully human. To focus on just our sexuality or job or whatever and allowing it to be our identity we are not believing the Truth of who we are “in Christ”.

I think that anyone who sees sin as God does will realize that if someone is gay, or overweight or any other “sin” they are not allowing the Holy Spirit to teach them.

We all have a big “Fail” sign on our foreheads. Only Jesus has “accepted” on his… and when we are “in Christ” we too are accepted by the Father.

Again, this is not easy to learn for some… there is a struggle yet grace gives us a huge learning curve toward success. God loves us, and by that we learn to love ourselves and others as God does.

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Books! Books! Books!



Michal Frost and Alan Hirsch are a great team. ReJesus is a provocative look at how we are doing church now and how we should look at church as we move into this new era. Though I will not say they present anything "new" I will say they unpack many things that others have presented before them very well. This is not about changing Jesus to fit our views, but about changing our views, and recaptureing a high Christology that will refocus us to drive a missional church.



Andy Crouch is a deep writer. Be warned Culture Making is not light reading. Is culture something we need to fight against, or do we need to realize culture is inate to humankind. Andy Crouch builds a great foudnation to show that we are to make culture and explores what this means a Christians.



Every year I try to re-read Classic Christianity. Bob George unpacks Grace in a very down to earth manner. This book had a profound impact on my faith and in helping me find acceptance from God.

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Making the Grade... My blog is a college resource!





I was approached about a week ago from Biblical Seminary and asked if I minded that they link to my blog as a "resource". I was not sure what they meant yet still thought, "Why not?"... Then I looked at all the other people on the same link page. I am honored and truly humbled to be on the same list with many of the finest thinkers I know of. In fact I am sort of confused and amazed to be on that list. It is a great missional resource list.






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Kids say the darndest things!







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Friday, May 08, 2009

Love this song Paradigm

All Together Separate doing Paradigm






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Randy Stonehill



To me this is when Randy Stonehill hit it right. I think he had Daniel Amos backing him on this Album.








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Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The grief process in different cultural and religions views




This is the final paper I received an A for. I think that it would be helpful for some so I am posting it. Warning it is long.



The grief process in different cultural and religions views

Com220

Carlos Shelton

Axia College



Benjamin Franklin is quoted as saying that the only sure thing in life is death and taxes. Though some may debate if all people have to pay taxes, there is no debate that death is a certainty in life. The mystery of death has fascinated people throughout history, and it is this mystery that has a profound effect on people of all cultures and religions. There are many views on what happens when one dies and this may have an effect on how people who lose someone to death deal with his or her loss. The development of grief counseling has presented an excellent tool for those who face the loss of a loved one. The understanding of the Grief Process Model helps many understand how to deal with their own emotions and even physical responses to their loss. There have been many incredible minds that have done much more research into the topic of grief and in no way will this essay be able to go into the depth of research that has been done. There is no desire to undermine the tool of the Grief Process Model as one can greatly benefit from using it in the time of loss. In part this essay will be educational, though I also hope to help expand the idea that the Grieving Process Model may not be universal to all cultures and religious views. While the Grief Process Model is helpful to Western and European cultures, the grieving process may not be universal to other cultures and religious views. If the Grief Process Model is not universal to all cultures and religious views, then there may be need to understand those other cultures and religious views to modify the Grief Process Model to better help those in other cultures and religious views.

The book “On Death and Dying’ written by Swiss doctor Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, was published in 1970 was first to develop the phrase “the grief process”. Dr. Kübler-Ross became concerned how those dying were “shunned” (2009) by doctors who were not willing to deal with the emotional issues of those who were dying. Dr. Kübler-Ross wrote her book in respond to this unkindness she witnessed. In the next few years Dr. Kübler-Ross began to notice that the grief cycle was not experienced only by those terminally ill, but also by those that lost loved ones due to death. Since then the grief process has been developed from five steps to 10. The most commonly used process is the five step grief process based on the seven step model that Dr. Kübler-Ross first developed.

The five step grief process model is fairly simple to understand. Grief as defined by the Oxford dictionary means “a great sadness caused by trouble or loss and a heavy sorrow.” (1989) In this simplified version the five steps are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Grief can also be understood as a type of adaptation (Worden, 2009) to the loss of a loved one due to death. The living must find a way to come to terms with the death of a loved one whether the way is healthy or not. By recognizing the different emotional stages, one can better adapt in healthy ways.


Graph 1: The most commonly used form of the grieving process is the five step process. Though they do tend toward this progression, one may also regress or skip a step.



Dr. Kübler-Ross believed that a person passes through each phase as he or she deals with the emotions of dying or losing a loved one to death. Without passing through the phases one may not fully come to healthy terms with his or her loss.

The first stage is denial. There is a sense of unbelief that one faces when he or she first is given the news they are terminally ill, or that the person they love is dying or has died. Denial is simply rejecting the idea that death is happening or happened. This stage can be summed up in the phrase of “This can’t be happening.” There is a sense of numbness or shock that comes across a person and he or she may not accept the idea as reality.

The second stage is anger. Some can become angry at God, the person the grieving person lost, the medical staff or even themselves. In this stage the reality has sunk in, yet the mind seeks out a reason. “Why is this happening?” or “Why did this happen?” may by the common question that is asked.

The third stage is bargaining. Most often this is a reflection on one’s personal beliefs. The grieving person may turn to God or the universe and try to bargain their way out of the loss. “If you heal them I will…” is a common expression.

The Fourth stage is depression. In this phase one may become withdrawn and not want interaction with others. The person grieving will as, “Is life worth living?” and begin to feel the actual loss of the loved one.

The fifth stage is acceptance. In this stage the person has worked through the other stages and has come to terms with their loss. They have accepted the loss as part of their reality and begin to seek out a ‘normal” life again.

One may experience these stages in order or skip over one to another. They may also work through one stage and move to the next and still relapse into a stage he or she previously have gone through. The idea is that one works through each stage in a healthy way and recognizes each emotion as it comes. As one does this is becomes easier to understand why one is so angry or depressed.

Dr. Kübler-Ross was not without her critics. In 1980 Dr. Shniedman and in 1991 Dr. Kastenbuam cited that the research done by Dr. Kübler-Ross did not go far enough and that it was based on clinical impressions and not on empirical data. Shniedman and Kastenbuam also noted that there was suggestion that because Dr. Kübler-Ross was a psychologist, she portrayed the grieving process as a “mental illness” while they contended that it was a biological defense mechanism. (2009). With this in mind the discussion of the 10 step grief process is now appropriate.

The same steps in the five steps are present yet in more detailed:
Graph 2: The 10 step grieving process.






The first stage is Denial which as stated, one will experience shock or numbness.

The second stage is Release which can be expressed with sadness, crying and feeling the reality of the loss.

The third stage is Depression. In this stage there is a sense of loneliness, helplessness and the question of “Why did this happen?”

The fourth stage is Physical symptoms. One will begin to feel fatigued, weak, may experience the physical pain that the dying experiences and insomnia.

The fifth stage is Pain. In this stage one may experience anxiety, fear, develop an illness phobia, become over sensitive to physical illness and preoccupied with health.

The sixth stage is Guilt. Often the person grieving will feel he or she did not do enough for the loved one or say everything they should have while the deceased was still alive.

The seventh stage is Anger. One may experience the impulse to blame others. They may also have hostility toward others though most commonly toward the caregivers.

The eighth stage is withdrawal. In this stage one may experience the loss of interest in daily things and develop a fear of losing control in public.

The ninth stage is Recovery. One will begin to re-adjust to the idea that their loved one has died or is dying. In this there is a release or letting go of the burden of grief.

The tenth stage is Acceptance and peace of mind. A person in this stage has come to terms with his or her loss. They have accepted it and now have peace of mind. (Sahley, 2007, January)

The effectiveness of the grieving process model depends on each person and how one is able to work through each stage. Attitudes about death can have an effect on how a person works through the process. Unfortunately, in western culture there is a “taboo” attached to the topic of death. Seeing death as unnatural or something people just do not discuss may interfere with how people are able to work through each stage. In the USA there seems to be either the glorification of death and violence or the hush that it is only to be spoken about if necessary. Understanding that death is part of life and to view it as part of the life cycle can help one have a healthy understanding of death

Only 100 years ago, it was common that when a person was dying to have his or her family would be present. People would also care for the body themselves and prepare the deceased for burial. Women would dress the deceased in their favorite clothes and care for the body by washing and grooming the deceased as they did when they were still alive. Now people are often not willing to touch a well made up body in a mortuary out of fear. (Wilson, 2009)

People also tend toward dying in hospitals which are often a sterile and impersonal environment. Now we place the body in morgues, have someone else prepare the body or have it cremated and from there it is taken to the cemetery or other place of final rest. In the end society has lost touch with mourning with the association of a body and even mourning has begun to be a lost tradition. Jamie Wilson sums it up this way, “Dying traditions are dying traditions.” (Wilson, 2009)

Currently there is a rise in interest in hospice where those dying are cared for. Yet, still these are mostly utilized for those patients dying from AIDS, cancer, or motor neurone disease. (Neuberger, 2003) Julie Neuberger suggests that using hospices one can study healthy ways to deal with death and dying. (Neuberger, 2003) Neuberger also states that there is a new interest in spirituality associated with those dying in hospice and that this should be a high priority. (Neuberger, 2003)

The grieving process is also useful for other areas in life and one can use it for about any loss. In a sense, the loss of a job can cause many of the same emotional responses that death can, though maybe not as deep. By utilizing the tools of the grief process model one can readjust more quickly to be able to seek out other work.

Another area that the grief process has been found useful is in the case of divorce. In this case it is the death of a marriage. By utilizing the tools of the grief process model one can recognize and monitor his or her emotional state and more readily work through their emotions. When a person recognizes that he or she is experiencing grief over a loss and have the tools to deal and work with, they can find healthy ways to express themselves and work to healthy solutions. Often in the case of divorce one senses the same feelings as one would if there was a death of a spouse, yet there is not the resolution of the burial. By using the tools of the grief process one can come to acceptance of the situation as it is and grow beyond revenge, fantasy or other states of mind that may keep one from growing.

The grieving process is an excellent tool yet is it effective in all cultures and in light of other religious beliefs? Do some religions better prepare some for death than others in helping people deal with grief?

There is not much research that has been done on how the grieving process may differ from Western or European cultures and other cultural and religious views. One study did go into the differences in cultures that are present in the United States. I see that in some of these cultures and religious views that grief counselors need to take into account these differences as they attempt to help someone adapt to his o her loss. The hope of a counselor is that people will come to a healthy adaption to their loss rather than maladaptive. (Worden, 2009) By ignoring or worse forcing another cultural or religious idea on someone already stressed with the burden of grief can cause more stress and possible harm the person.



In many cultures the view of death is not as taboo as it is in the United States. Yet within the United States alone, there is an extended diversity of cultures and religious views giving us a bit of a perspective as to whether one need broaden the research on the grieving process.



According to Lobar, Youngblut, Brooten, In Mexican American college student “[r]esearchers have found greater expression of grief and more physiological reactions compared to Anglo college students.” (Jan-Feb 2006) Often in Latino communities do not want to burden the family and “will rely on faith, hope and prayer” (Lobar, Jan-Feb 2006 p. 1). to cope with the death of a loved one. In Asian and Latino communities open express grief which could include “wailing” or even mourning clothes are often parts of the rituals in which these cultural groups mourn. (Lobar, Jan-Feb 2006 p. 2) In some Latino expressions of religious faith there will be a mixture of “Catholicism and “folk medicine” such as Santeria, Kspiritismo, or Voodoo” (Lobar, Jan-Feb 2006 p. 2) which may include having a holy man come and help the deceased move into the next life. If a family with these beliefs are not allowed to do this it could add to their own stress and worry over the deceased and keep them from feeling they did not do all they could to help the deceased move into the next life.



In Hindi families there is much more interaction with preparation of the body by family members. They will bath the body, massage it in oils and dress the deceased in new clothes then make sure the body is cremated before the next sunrise to ensure the soul’s transition from this world to the next. If the grief counselor is not aware of this practice they can cause more undo stress to those grieving. By taking the body away as is custom in the United States, we are often not allowing those who practice their beliefs to do so. (Lobar, Jan-Feb 2006 p. 2)
Though some in Western culture may look at many of these as superstitious or even improper religious beliefs, the point in grief counseling is not changing the beliefs of the person grieving, but to help them work through the grief with some additional tools which the Grief Process Model may give. To be flexible with the structure can aid in the person overcoming the immediate stress of the loss. In most cases this is a time when many will cling to their faith and any challenge will not be accepted.



As one looks at the Grief Process Model in light of other cultures and religious views one may not come to the same conclusions. The Grief Process Model is a useful tool that can help people deal with death of a loved one, divorce, or even a loss of a job. Many have been helped by gaining understanding in what they may face in a loss. There still needs to be a respect for other cultural and religious views in how someone understands death and loss. To presume that all groups of people deal with death the same way undermines this respect. Taking time to study these other views can help extend the effectiveness of the Grief Process Model. So the question is whether one sees the Grief Process Model as universal or not? If the Grief Process Model is not universal to all cultures and religious views, then the modifications are necessary to better help those who have a loss due to death.




Reference page:

Dunne, K. (2004, July 21). Grief and its manifestations. Nursing Standard, 18(45), 45-53. Retrieved February 27, 2009, from CINAHL Plus with Full Text database.





Lobar, S L, Youngblut, J M, & Brooten, D. (Jan-Feb 2006). Cross-cultural beliefs, ceremonies, and rituals surrounding death of a loved one. Pediatric Nursing, 32, 1. p.44(7). Retrieved February 27, 2009, from General OneFile via Gale:http://find.galegroup.com/ips/start.do?prodId=IPS

Neuberger, Julie (2003, July 26). A healthy view of dying. A healthy view of dying, 327, Retrieved March31. 2009, from http://www.hawaii.edu/hivandaids/A%20Healthy%20View%20of%20Dying.pdf

Oxford English Dictionary (1989) Oxford English Dictionary, Second edition. Oxford, Oxford university press.

Sahley, B. (2007, January). Coping with Grief. MMRC Health Educator Reports, Retrieved February 27, 2009, from Alt HealthWatch database.

Unknown, (2009). The Kübler-Ross grief cycle. Retrieved March 30, 2009, from Changing minds.org Web site: http://changingminds.org/disciplines/change_management/kubler_ross/kubler_ross.htm

Wilson, Jamie K. (2007, August 02). Unhealthy fear of death: modern westerners don't understand how we end. Retrieved March 31, 2009, from Associated Content Web site: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/331488/unhealthy_fear_of_death_modern_westerners.html

Worden, J. William (2009). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy. Retrieved April 17, 2009, from Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy Web site: http://www.springerpub.com/samples/01208_chapter.pdf


















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