Tuesday, October 17, 2006

My Sex Life Stinks...

My Sex Life Stinks…

Well actually my wife and I are pretty happy in many ways and have been able to work through much that some still struggle and try to deal with.

I get heat at times because I consider gays and lesbians “my neighbors” and believe Jesus’ words to “love your neighbor as yourself”. In this what I am against is unhealthy relationships. Believe it or not I have seen homosexual relationships that are more nurturing and loving than many straight-conservative and supposedly God ordained relationships. Yet, in these straight marriages often abuse, be it physical, mental or in some way of controlling the other is very prevalent. This is not a “God ordained” marriage any more than one is if the couple is same sex… it is sin… plain and simple.

I am for healthy marriages. Healthy loving relationships where each person can nurture and build each other up in love. And to the surprise of my critics I believe the very first step toward the union of a man and a woman, who seeking God in their lives first, join together in Holy Matrimony. That is the Biblical definition of marriage. To quote a friend on this topic as we discussed it a few years back, “God will not honor an ungodly marriage so in the eyes of God, there is no marriage between Gays and Lesbians who seek to be married outside of God’s view. They can call it whatever they want, it is not being married in the eyes of God though”. (Some of you would be very surprised who this was BTW.) We both agreed that something must be done about health care, which was another issue, yet has been attached to the “homosexual agenda”. On a side note I find it interesting that often God uses ungodly people to bring into view something that is unjust. Often as in the case of the gentiles, it is to shame the other into seeing that they are not walking in the way Christ Jesus has called us. (Romans 2:14)
So many churches call and claim to teach purity. Yet this often is not the purity Jesus has called us to. It is more in line with the “purity” of the Pharisees in which Jesus called, “White washed tombs that contain dead men’s bones”. It is often a purity based on shame and performance, both which hinder being able to serve God in true Love and godly purity.

Man’s heart is wicked and deceitful (Genesis 8:21). It is easy for man to be tripped up and try to make himself pure. This is impossible! Man cannot purify himself to make oneself acceptable for God, but must be purified by God. There are many verses that speak of God putting a pure heart in us. It is only by the blood of Jesus we are made pure and holy… and not of our own works or doing. People put out verses that speak of “keep yourself pure”, yet often over look that it is in letting Jesus live His life in and through you this is accomplished… in other words it is Christ Himself Who is our purity and Who keeps us and sustains our purity as we walk in the Spirit. This is a hard concept to understand let alone explain. Yet to walk in the Spirit is not some hyper spiritual walk “WE” do rather as in Romans 5:19 it is walking in what Christ Jesus has already done. It is by Grace and not of works, both by fulfilling some legality or in keeping the ceremonial requirements like circumcision to set oneself above someone else.

In Galatians 5, we are told from verse 13 on: You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. (NIV)

I think we often confuse the list as what people need to be like to be like us, when instead we need to look at the list to see if we are walking in accord with the Spirit ourselves. I see so often that we use this as a list to judge, and justify our “fits of rage”, to spread “discord”, to cover our “selfish ambition” to cause “dissensions, and factions” out of our envy… all because we do not love our neighbor, but in fact one becomes “drunk” in their own “hate” toward our neighbor. These are the very things that make us impure… and as Paul states one who acts like this, will not inherit the Kingdom of God. Yet, like the Pharisees of Jesus day, we would rather justify ourselves than walk in Christ’s justification of us.

I see especially that sex is so often taboo in the church. That to talk about it is often condemned in shame and incites many to call those who seek to teach true purity in marriage and the joys of sex in marriage as immoral or perverted. Be mindful that scripture teaches: Titus 1 15. To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. 16. They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.

So a sign of unbelief is actually to call that which is pure, corrupt. And sex within marriage is pure.

I have a good friend whose testimony is very sad, yet at the same time, very powerful in that it shows the power of God to reunite a marriage. Dave and Kathy Foreman were torn apart by Dave’s homosexual lifestyle. He was addicted to drugs and pursuing his music career. Yet, the more he followed his desires the more he seem to lose as a person. I will not go much more into the story as you can read it here. Suffice it to say, God is in the business of reconciliation. Their story is sad and their struggles were many. God is good though. They now are doing a counseling ministry that is out to help marriages grow and to help those in the homosexual lifestyle find a way out. They also if I may plug iggyROCKS! my online Christian station, have a show called Life as One which is played nightly.

East Hill Church in Oregon, has started to speak out on sex openly at their church in hopes others will be encouraged to grow in their marriage. This is a great opening link to their website. I do not know much more about their ministry though the article as this is what inspired this posting.

I do recommend though with a bit of clarification xxxchurch.com I totally love what these guys are doing though use discretion in going to their site as it is very frank on the topic of sex. (A little update as to the power of Christ and how Jesus can reach out and change a person is the story of Crissy Moran. I had never heard of her, yet she has been in contact with xxxchurch.com as she has left the porn industry. You can send her some encouragement at her new site http://www.myspace.com/yourfriendcrissy I do not reccommend that someone just look her up, she is in the process of trying to get her many sites taken down. She needs tons of prayer as many depended on her for their own income... remember these are real people who became objects, and are now trying to be New Creations in Christ. You can read more about this awesome work of God on the xxxchurch.com blog.


Sex is and was meant to be a joyous thing in a marriage, and if one studies the Bible they will find that in the Song of Songs or Song of Solomon, which is very erotic, is a story of Christ and His bride. It is a story of how we should progress in our relationship with God…

Hebrews tells us that: Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. So we should emphasize the pure joy that sex in marriage can be.

Blessings,
iggy





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