Canine Bar Mitzvah
There was once a man who wanted to make a bar mitzvah for his dog. He decided that he would consult his Orthodox Rabbi and seek his advice.
The Rabbi said "Are you crazy!!! a Bar Mitzvah for a dog."
The man replied, "Yes, Rabbi. He has been part of my family for thirteen years"
The rabbi said, "I'm sorry. I can't do this for you"
The man continued and went along to a conservative rabbi and the rabbi responded in the same way "I can't do a Bar Mitzvah for a dog".
The man went ahead and asked his local Reform Rabbi if he would do the Bar Mitzvah for him. The Rabbi said, "Listen, we do a lot of crazy things around here but a Bar Mitzvah for a dog is absurd."
The frustrated man responded, "Rabbi, I'll give you $18,000 to do this for me......Please..!!!" The Rabbi quickly shot his head around and said "You never told me the dog was Jewish."