Sunday, October 02, 2005

I am an illustrated sermon

I was going to call this post, “I am an idiot!” But I had a hard enough week already. My attitude was very bad this week. I was about to even delete some of my last few posts about the whole website issue. Yet, I believe I must live my life as real as I can. I am constantly telling people that I want to be real and reflect Jesus Who is The REAL. I don’t want to cover my warts. Though I don’t also want to go around and show all my warts to everyone, I am not going to present only the good side of myself. There is a little shame and embarrassment, yet as I lean into Christ I realize I am an illustrated sermon.

I want to say that I did not live up to 1 Corinthians 13:

1. If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
9. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10. but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
11. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I do not want to make excuses for my actions and words they are what they are. I tend to pursue things with passion. I was falsely accused; yet I should not have lashed out at the people in the “abuse” dept… (A bit ironic there).

I know without Jesus living inside of me I would never have realized my shortcomings.

I confess this to all of you in hopes that in this weakness I am stronger in Christ.
I will add this, I realized that I was in the “Why” world for a while…. “why me?” “why is this happening?”, “why would someone do this to me?”

If you look at the end of the word “Why”, you notice that the letter Y is like one road going into two roads. The “Why” is like a choice. Which path should I take? I tend to go down the path were the squirrels run around in my head and drive me bonkers. As I was driving I realized that I had gone down that path. I realized also that the self-pity party that the why question led me down was not going to accomplish anything. So I began to think on What and How. What is God trying to teach me? And how can I apply this to my life in the future? The answer is not been given to me, but I believe it will come.

As I thought on this I remembered this scripture in James 1

1. James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings.
2. Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3. because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
4. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8. he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. 9. The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position.
10. But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. 11. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.
12. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
13. When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14. but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
16. Don't be deceived, my dear brothers.
17. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.
19. My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20. for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
22. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
23. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24. and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it--he will be blessed in what he does.
26. If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. 7. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.


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