I do not believe we are at the mercy of others control, yet see this tension that holds these things in place. In a way, I see that we may be a slave to one thing, then free to others, yet also then become a slave to that other thing. Being free to me is more than the fulfillment of my want or desires. I see it as sort of surrender. I may be a surrender to something far superior than one's self that works hand in hand with trusting this superior "Being" which I believe has a person's best interest in mind.
To surrender one self to pursue this best seems a means of freedom to me that leads to higher freedom. It brings the ability to love in spite of hate, to give in spite of need, or to forgive when wronged. It is bringing one's self as not at the mercy or whim of one who wants to harm or does not have a person's best interest in mind.